there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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