My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize