We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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