U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
