Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
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I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We talked him into tasing himself.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
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turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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