Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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