you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
