Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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