i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize