doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
