I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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