My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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