honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
