Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
