I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My cat gives me a boner
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
