so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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