how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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