we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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