God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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