she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
