Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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