I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
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