i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Still dying that you shit outside
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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