we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
