apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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