Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize