My room smells like vodka and shame
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
