Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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