how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
