After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
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He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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