I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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