Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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