My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
All I want is dick and wine.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
