Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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