After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize