Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
