did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
