I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Send help, water and tortillas.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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