toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize