Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
