it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
