she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
