what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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