I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
