So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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