Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
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going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
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sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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