ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
