addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
