We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
