he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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