do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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