ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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