chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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