Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
