whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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