We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
