I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
