So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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